When a thoughtless or unkind word is spoken, best tune out. Reacting in anger or annoyance will not advance one's ability to persuade.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg received a valuable piece of advice from her mother-in-law on her wedding day: "In every good marriage, it helps sometimes to be a little deaf." Ginsburg later applied this advice to her professional life, including her time on the Supreme Court. She believed that when confronted with thoughtless or unkind words, it is best to tune them out and avoid reacting with anger or annoyance. Instead, she recognized that reacting negatively would not contribute to her ability to persuade others.

The Stoics also emphasized this approach. An example is the story of Cato, who was struck by someone during an argument in the Roman baths. The man apologized when he realized the importance of the person he had hit. Cato's response was not to dwell on the incident; he said, "I don't remember being hit." He practiced not only being deaf to insults but also being forgetful, allowing him to move on from the incident.

The key lesson here is that in life, one can choose to be vigilant about every insult and snide comment, clinging to past grievances and scrutinizing possible ill intentions. Alternatively, one can choose to be a little deaf to such negativity, letting go of minor issues, but not foolishly or completely forgetting them. This approach allows individuals to maintain positive relationships, rise above conflicts, and avoid being consumed by anger.